Thursday, December 30, 2010


Hin und wieder du, Leute wollen Handel sie ihre Mitteilungen für ihre (nicht zu klingen wie die größte dick in der Welt aber 9/10 Mal wenn Menschen bitten, dies zu geschehen der gehandelten records Normalerweise werden verloren gehen, in den Müll, oder warf sie die Tour van Fenster. Und ich bin nicht nur um Handel mit mir. Ich spreche ziemlich viel jeder ich jemals kommen über die meist immer nur widerstrebend damit einverstanden ist. Sie sind nur zu ängstlich, nein zu sagen ihr Gesicht.

I'm now excepting trades for records for the following things that aren't other peoples records:

TEA(cheers, Russ)
WEED (this is mailable too.. no warning used to get weed (and other stuff) mailed to hotels all the time)
MANCHESTER CITY MOCCASINS (this would get you a bunch of records, also yes they actually make them..COOL EH??!)
INCENSE STICKS with names like "Black Love", "Pussy", "Fuck Smell"(i am not a hippie)
DAVID LEE ROTH'S book "Crazy from the Heat"

happy new year

Sunday, December 26, 2010


Happy Boxing Day. I gather everyone had a good holiday? I did. Drank loads, and got asthma at all the holiday houses I visited with feline inhabitants (worth it though). Here's a quick one because I don't really have anything to say that doesn't have to do with Man City, or a record I have something to do with..

This is the next installment in the extremely limited lathe series brought to you by myself, and scotch tapes. Keep in mind, all these songs will be featured on a (not so limited) 12" compilation later in 2011. The track listing will be:

1. Huckleberry Friends
2. Tropics
3. Bruised Knees
4. Lonely Wholesome
5. Actual Water
6. Dentata
7. Wyrd Visions
+ maybe a bonus track or two

Click here to get #3 BRUISED KNEES.


Wednesday, December 15, 2010


randomly found this online when i found a website selling all our stuff... WONDERING WHO THAT 10$ A MONTH IN NW MERCH SALES IS GOING TO? I'd like my cut, so I can buy sour kids at the movies.

this is an EPK that was put together by some random dude many years ago, and did a lot to help us get signed to Warner Bros and sell out the hardcore scene and make a shit load of money that we all spent pretty quickly. Fred Durst saw this and called us "Phat", and wanted to sign us on the spot. hardcore is a mystery to people on the outside, and as lame as it gets it'll always kind of be that way! Keep the faith, and STAY PHAT.

long live the transac

Friday, December 10, 2010

nothing to report

hey I haven't posted anything in a while because either a) I've been on tour and I'm too lazy b) no records have come out since my last post.. and thats all I really think is worth posting anything about c) ive been recording other bands d) ive been watching tevez e) ive been spending money f) most importantly.. working out the live band version for all of this so I can actually play a gig. It's going pretty well. Young Guv & The Scuzz features two gentlemen from No Warning (gavel/jesse) who now play like session musicians for Motown Records, and Serdi from Marvelous Darlings. I've played with these cats for over 10 years now. Eazy.

Firing Squad 7" out soon on plastic idol
married man 7" on we are busy bodies
new roommates in the new year


Thursday, November 11, 2010

ill take the draw


Leeds is a magical magical village in England where the only person above the age of 30 is a bald man named Jace who plays in a skinhead oi (people still do this?) band called (fuck, I honestly cant remember) and they dress up as cricket players and play Jonah's guitar he paid half of for. The rest of the population are students having sex with each other and ordering Pizza and yelling. Some are goth's that go to a goth club in a church off the main strip. There is a top notch curry in the Park in Leeds, but the owner supports United so I'm pretty sure I'm eating curried dogshit from the aforementioned Park. Tastes bomb though. Jonah always gets the 900 chili vindaloo and destroys his innards. The one time the curry in the Park was closed Andy, Damian and I strayed off our curry on the reg and got some bastardized version down the road. 30 mins later I was barfing in a forest. Theres a quote here that's escaping me from our driver at the time about me feeling great after puking in a forest, but its not that funny. This is the 2nd out of about 10 times I've been sick in England on tour. I remained food poisoned all night at Andys house in London feverishly dreaming about his toilet bowl and cat crawling down my throat like that Tales From the Crypt episode. He cooked us English breakfast the next morning and I must say really made me feel great. Leeds sucks, and I sleep in the van every time because Jace's cat won't die. I'm always stoned by the time we are off to bed, so an hour before I sleep I'm sitting up in the van paranoid (but not as paranoid as Damian smoking anywhere with a police force AKA EVERYWHERE) waiting for the van to be burglarized and our gear ripped off. In the back of mind I know I will just sit there and let it happen so the show the next day gets canceled, or at least we can borrow gear and make it interesting and sound bad but cool.
Here's to another cold van sleep, terrible breakfast sub's, and Jonah farting fire and burning Leeds to the ground. See ya there!

This show will be a good one because it is the last day of tour, we will be in good moods, we will probably get free stuff, we fly home the next day.. and despite my above piss take on the place Leeds is always a solid gig.

p.s I know the Bitters kind of got lost in that whole fuzz pop lo fi thing, but the record that came out on Sacred Bones that I've never read anything about or seen anywhere and seems to have just been lost under the rug somewhere (makes sense because we were never a "real band") has been uploaded here, by these ladies from Toronto. Give it a whirl. The record is awesome. cheers

Wednesday, October 27, 2010


"Bedtime Stories" by Young Governor (video: Dona Arbabzadeh) from Dona Arbabzadeh on Vimeo.

yo what up is me again, the most prolific illest MC this side of wankerville bringing you yet another smash except this time a much bette, more thought out video and collaboration with the one and only Mrs Deezy Dona Arbabzadeh AKA the most talented video artist in the world killin it everytime she plugs in 200 tv's and makes illin' art installments and videos. I was lucky enough to be able to hand this track over to her and after a few hours at Toronto's infamous hooker hotel (THE WAVERLY on spadina) in a room that cost 30$ clad in a custom satin robe designed by Mrs Avery Danika, with cockroaches crawling all over us (danielle nems had to bail out after 5 minutes and had a for real panic attack because shes scared of crawling things), we cut some shots of me singing the tune on a leopard print bed sheet (thank you marion aka Grandma, i actually have it on my real bed now at home and didn't wash it so for the first 2 weeks of having it in my room i thought i could feel bed bugs crawling all over my skin and became insane by it.. now im fine). Dan Burke also popped by to hang out (because he lived in the hotel for a while doing crack, and I also really liked him) and he is featured at the end of the video. Dona and I killed a mickey of Rye and then randomly found ourselves in a VIP booth at the Air Canada Centre that night watching Lady Gaga (which was awesome).. Enjoy. Thanks Dona, Avery, Izzy, Dan, Waverly Hotel, Danielle..

this just in from Mr Burke:

"...terrific song (nice mood!) and I really like the video: great flow and style.
And those RayBan shades you gave me are REALLY something!
Yesterday I went to the dentist. Gonna start putting some teeth back in my head.
The shades will look great with some front teeth!!!
Thanks for involving me in your work.
Keep blazing - the best never rest!"

Good luck at the dentist, dan!


also THIS KID put up a bunch of the darlings 7"s for free download.. get em over there if ya dont have 'em..

Monday, October 25, 2010


what up suckas and lucky gooners, yet another record could potentially arrive on your doorstep this month.. It is the Marvelous Darlings "I hate rob ford", shit i mean, "i hate rock n roll" 7" put out by this guy called Rich from a label I have never really heard of from Birmingham England, Speedowax. He seems like a decent gentleman and its a pretty fun record. The title track is admittedly a stupid fucking song, but the b side is class... soooo.....
pick it up HERE

It comes on some whacky color vinyl and Richard Dunne is on the labels.. catch the guvnor / Birmingham reference there... OK?

Next up: Official release of the Bedtime Stories Video.. and more.


Sunday, October 24, 2010

coming soon

soon. a shirt!

is available

Monday, October 18, 2010



This is a live record recorded a few blocks from my apartment and studio at a diner called Gales Snack Bar. Read about it here. It is the cheapest place you will ever eat, it has actually been around for 80 years, and they are pretty friendly there. Burgers are 1.50$. They think "mcdonalds is too expensive". We squeezed into the tiny place and played some songs one night to a few friends and some bewildered locals. I recorded it. Sounds crazy. Lots of male sexual grunting. Pick it up.

sell me your motorbike for cheap. Or if you have a buddy or a family member who has good hook ups..... Get at me. Looking for an old Honda.

Monday, October 11, 2010


You'll notice now at (AKA Mike's Mind) you get these weird little pretentious foodie recommendations or subtle references to fine dining or whatever even though dude doesn't eat meat and hates onions (WHACK!!!!! Jk, kinda). So over here in the kindergarten (AKA, WAY FUNNER) of blogs you get a little good old boy canadian greasy CHIPPY ACTION (even though my entire gang of homies are fine dining chefs and my roommate (OF THE ROOMMATES aka BEST SONGS OF 2010 NO ONE HAS HEARD) works 60 hours a week at Toronto's best restaurant and chef/food/cooking/kitchen talk is literally all I'm ever around (drives me bonkers a little) unless I am on tour with Fucked Up in which case all you ever hear about is Weed, Twitter, Patrick Amory, Matador, Wavves, Sandy making no sense, or Jonah getting his balls busted for being way more jacked than the rest of the band [all of which also drives me bonkers but without the tasty results]... I'm keeping it real here).

HIGHWAY 48, BABES. Get in your Camaros and Firebirds, I'll see you there!

p.s I love using brackets (o)(o)

pps im not really this into chip trucks, im just kind of taking the piss and also I feel a bit sick right now from eating at one but that first 5 minutes is pure pleasure, EH!!!!!

and yes.. as for non bullshit stuff.
these are due for you to listen or watch soon by the end of the year max....
guvnor firing squad 7"
marvelous darlings live 12"
firing squad music vid
bedtime stories music vid
guvnor/lets wrestle split 7"
guvnor beat of my heart 7"
guvnor pizza face 7" (official/not a lathe version)
bruised knees lathe 7"
lonely wholesome lathe 7"
actual water lathe 7"
dentata lathe 7"
wyrd visions lathe 7"
marvelous darlings "i hate rock n roll" 7"
roommates "If" tape #3
huckleberry friends debut 7"
(all non guv projects produced/recorded by me at 388 Carlaw.. all quality stuff!)

Also it has been brought to my attention that my lathe series things aren't actual lathe's or something, and lathes are other kinds of floppy flexi type records and whatever.. So.... I'm just gonna keep calling it this.. cuz I don't care what it is. All I know is that its floppy, its cut by a lathe maker, Al from Scotch tapes calls it a lathe, and the quality sounds like hipsters in a time machine filtered through a 1930's gramophone. Btw, How good was CARNIVALE?

Monday, October 4, 2010


Sometimes I record bands for chump change. Sometimes I record them for free. Yesterday I recorded for underwear. And not cool underwear either. I got the ones tighty whitey dick hole ones. But a gift is a gift, and I love it. Thank you.

also a kid made this unofficial guvnor facebook group and told me to tell people to join it, so go and join and find out via facebook about guv stuff that may or may not be true, also feel free to add me but dont look at the pictures of me and my family and stuff cuz thats weird

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Wednesday, September 22, 2010


Hey - YOUNG GUV/LETS WRESTLE split 7" is up for pre order. So go nab it because there will only be 500. I wrote the GUV song with Jonah Falco from Fucked Up/Career Suicide so you know its a boppy danceable track one can throw baseballs to while moving your arms and stepping in place at the same time to music. Lets Wrestle are great, and hilarious people. Support. Bye!



Lets Wrestle's song is GREAT!
It's a strong record, check it out.


Friday, September 17, 2010


Yo - Loud and Quiet Magazine in the UK challenged me recently to do a full record of Oasis covers since hearing my version of "fade away".

hear them challenge me here at around 13;30 on their PODCAST!!

I'd like to publicly accept their challenge, and challenge them to put out the record for me if I do it, and also they have to buy me a manchester city mug to go along with my manchester city cereal bowl.

that is all.

tour is over.. for now.

I will start playing live soon with Guvnor under the name YOUNG GUV & THE SCUZZ. It will include an all star cast of professional musicians. bye

Saturday, September 4, 2010

Friday, September 3, 2010


realistically probably in this for like 1.5 seconds

nick jonas knew who fucked up were but didn't think a tour was a very good idea, DAGNABBIT !!!! OH WELLZZZZ
the first one was 8::::::::D~~~~




Wednesday, September 1, 2010


Due to the massive increase in readers of this here blog by cottage goers of Northern Ontario I have decided to periodically (and by periodically I mean once a year, or probably never again) "write" about Northern Ontario hot spots Aka Chip Trucks. I've been all over the world, and yes there are chippies in England (mostly disgusting), but I have never come across the chip truck quality of our fabulous and most beautiful and friendly province of Ontario (Yes, I like Canada, and Canadians... A lot). I have been visiting Northern Ontario (much like the country side of Finland or Sweden I have come to learn) my entire life. Growing up with a single mum whose sole obsession was to tuck herself and her two psychopathic angelic blond little boys away in a rented cottage somewhere up there every summer I came to love everything about the place. My mother would research cottages all winter, and work her shit job while suffering from a debilitating disease (that she would eventually be cured of by a "test run" medication.. Thank god) to afford the cheddar so her boys could shit in lakes and force the other to watch with a snorkel and mask ("it looks like birth"), kill fish, hail mary frogs into the lake, get sun burned, make smores, eat grilled cheese, , fight, etc. I've never had the slightest urge to vacation anywhere else. Two years ago, after 20 years of renting, she was able to buy her own with the support of her washed up actor son with savings, and her other working man carpenter kid. In the two years of part owning paradise I've been there only 3 times, but knowing that she now has her own place feels pretty swell. This past weekend while fighting a sinus infection I had a vacation with two of my closest friends. It was great.

Annnnnnyyyyways.... The point of this post.... If any of you wonderful people are ever cruising up in your china town rental car along Davis Drive about to pull onto HWY 48 NORTH, and you DON'T stop at this family run school bus turned chip truck who make their own fries, deep fry mushrooms and make the best poutine outside of Quebec (thats not some whack ass poutine speciality Queen West hipster spot)... You are sorely missing a taste explosion. Also we ate hot dogs and their sausages. We had little time to explore the menu, which was nothing out of the ordinary, but that's the point of the chip truck, right? ... Sticking to the classics. Foot longs, Peameal on a bun, home made chili.. WHATEVER!

Oh and their "OUT HOUSE" smells like "Vanilla" and Hilary "didn't even wanna leave" after pissing in it. A serious plus, no?


I'll be real with you for a second, and tell you that I know full well no one gives a shit about this post except my Grandma - but I don't care! Hi Marion! You should eat there! Bye XO

Thursday, August 26, 2010

reviews/hav a nap bitters

i dont read reviews, or follow up on any records i put out. i dont read magazines or msg boards (except this one), or pitchfork or stereogum or fader music or whatever... what I'm trying to say is I stay away from it all because its pretty evil, and maybe you should reconsider how you spend your time!!!! (jk! do what you want! Also your reading THIS blog so DEFINITELY reconsider your use of time??)... Anyways, someone sent me some nice things that were said about a couple records this past summer and although I don't get any of the references because I don't really listen to music except for Tom Petty and Boyz 2 Men, i'll post it here where I post most things that make me feel good and boost my ego. Cheers!

From Terminal Boredom..

Young Governor "Call Me When The Cat Dies" 7"
For those of you not paying attention, Young Guv is Ben Cook's solo project, the guy who also plays like fifth guitar in Fucked Up, does The Bitters thing and once fronted moshcore superstars No Warning. Where the guy finds the time, I have no idea. Under the YG name he's released a slew of singles/EPs over the past year which gained some critical acclaim and which I've somehow managed to miss. Go figure. "Call Me..." is a pretty impressive frantic punker with a Sage-like anthemic downer quality and some neat sounding guitar whoosh-effect. Good stuff. B-Side is actually an Oasis cover ("Fade Away") given the lo-fi mod-boy treatment. In a further fit of Anglophilia, Manchester City midfielder Stephen Ireland is thanked on the sleeve. Not bad for one-man-bedroom-banding, at least he doesn't sound like a nutless Cure fan crying onto his four-track. Scum stats: 600 copies.(RK)
(Criminal IQ //

Young Governor “Bedtime Stories” 7”
"Bedtime Stories" is what happens when yer Blank Dogs awkward bedroom pop lies out in the sun too long and melts on top of some mid-period Replacements-style Westerbergedness…a long n’catchy track that kinda’caught me off guard. I actually think I dig it. A lot. No reverb’d or f/x damaged vocals…all the snot is up front; blown and fucked au natural. "The Cutter" on the flip punx it up quite a bit more. Faster and louder. Like a mechanically tight yet slop-twin to the Useless Eaters. The break in the chorus brings Adam Ants’ "Zerox Machine" to mind, and that’s a plus in my book. I’ve played it a dozen times this past week and I’m still feeling it. Now what? Do I have to go buy all the other releases? Damn…Unsolicited fun from the folks over at Southpaw. Thanks!(RSF)
(Southpaw Records //

ALSO!! HOLY SHIT! I almost forgot!

This came out! Click the cover to order! It's pretty fierce and quite different than the LP. Theres synths, strings, low male voices, weird drop guitar tunings like soundgarden that I will never remember and made up on the spot, so will never play any of these songs live because its actually impossible and... well, its a stoner record right down to the fact that I couldn't remember how to play any of these songs if you paid me (Aerin can probably though, and she can't even play guitar!). Check it if its your thing! (or download it for free somewhere, who cares).

Monday, August 23, 2010

pizza face weird canada streaming

A few months ago I laid down a mellow pop smash called "pizza face". The song is sung in the character of a douchy try-hard sexy rocker front man who cooks and eats his female fans. It has nothing to do with pizza.

If you were the one of 66 people who picked up the limited lathe, yay! If you didn't get one you can do two things:

You can listen to the stream of the song at Weird Canada by clicking HERE.


You can wait for the real 7" release on Scotch Tapes in the next couple of weeks.

Or Both...

P.s check out FUCKED UP/NO AGE in RUSSIA PHOTOS by our good russian friend, SAVIER.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

cat video

Call Me When The Cat Dies by Young Guv from Joseph Roth on Vimeo.

Here is a video that didn't take very long to make, and little to no thought was involved except for the hanging out with cats (and getting asthma) part and getting them really high on cat nip. Thanks Joe!

Also thanks: The Cats and their owners (ME, Amanda, Katie, Sandolph)
The hard ass dogs at the end belong to my friend Chris who is my personal trainer, long time friend, and UFC fighter. Thanks to him, Oscar and Jake (RIP).

Recommended to watch high on weed.

Next up will be a not so hokey, different vibed video for "Bedtime Stories" filmed on 8mm at Toronto's #1 hooker hotel, The Waverly. Dan Burke makes a cameo.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010


hello YALL. So for 4 days i've been sitting in a 4th floor apartment ("FLAT") in London (TOWN) shitting my stomach out and barfing up the remnants of bacteria I accumulated from brushing my teeth with Russian water.. even though I really think it was a rancid smoothie I got when I landed back in the UK. Anyways. I've missed 3 FU shows in a row trying to get better, bouncing back today. Just ate a bacon sandwich ("SARNIE"). My entire family comes from this part of the world, and I used to live in Bristol but I can honestly say the quality of food in this country is the worst in the 1st world that I know of. It's embarrassing and I'll say it again "Fuck England". Thanks again for trying to kill me. I hate you. (love you nana, dee, justin, lindsay). I'd love to say I won't be back soon, but I'll be back in October on some whack as$ punk tour, but its short so I'll just hold my breath and eat my hair.
Anyways - Venting is over. Time for something positive (with a little smack talk and honesty on the side!)..

NUMERO 2 in the GUVNOR/SCOTCH lathe 7" series is out today. Tropics "WILD LIFE" 7". Very limited. The follow up to the babe stacked HBF "testing" 7" which has secured them a future 7" on Plastic Spoons from PARIS (and more).

Tropics is a band I've been fond of for a while especially once I started to record them. They are the best duo around, and the craziest thing - NO ONE KNOWS!!! Full respect to all the other hippie hipster duo types out there, but you don't ROCK. you SUCK. seriously.

Composed of two mates of mine Max (Slim Twig) & Simone TB (featured on Guvnor BEAT OF MY HEART 7" out soon). I've since recorded 2 super tight 7"s for tropics and am trying to get them out there, but since they are kind of unheard of outside of Toronto and are super original and cool sounding most labels are too pussy to touch it.. but we'll work it out. This band is one of the best in Toronto, and I'm happy to be a part of it in some capacity. Respect.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

greetings from eurotrip 2010

My apologies for not posting anything here for almost a month. The originally purpose of this blog was to post my words on Fucked Ups China trip last year, but then it morphed into a news blog to keep people up to date on records I do every month ( and other useless and jumbled information and tidbits from other parts of my life. Since I haven't had a record come out this month (except the roommates tape), and since I've been on boring ass tour this whole time stripping half naked in the middle of festivals, woods, and the french alps to STAY JACKED.. There's been no posts! There has been a few good moments on this tour though..

I met a chick with the same bag as me! Sarah where are you!!! *tear* *fart* !! We fell in love.

Also I've been living off something called Mustamukkara here in Finland, which is basically just eating blood with jam.
Some other things on this trip include:

-damian talking about keshia 5 times a day getting a cough
-adam our driver in the UK telling me a lot of crazy secrets that the rest of the band doesn't know
-josh and sandy stripping naked in the sea in italy and really taking the festival hippie persona to another level
-wavves thinking we are male models and wanting jonah and i to be their personal trainers
-london is lame
-my diego maradona autobiography not being as gripping as I thought it would be. Who knew Maradona wasn't a great writer? What was I thinking?

Soon we will be in Russia...

NExt up: Videos for "call me when the cat dies", and "bedtime stories".. 7"s for BEat of My Heart by Guvnor, Marvelous Darlings "I hate Rock N Roll", and Pizza Face non Lathe 7" with B side.. Oh, also Marvelous Darlings "Live At Gales" 12" LP on Deranged Records ..all coming soon..


Sunday, July 4, 2010


Feat. "Kelly, I'm Not A Creep / 1st Floor Blues"

New Roommates tape "Nn" is posted for order now at SCOTCH TAPES. Click here.
This ones like a 90's one hit wonder track or some shit if it was recorded for $$$50,000 at Capital Records Studios by some frosted tipped producer fellow in 1996.. However, it's recorded on my budget gear so enjoy the /150 tape release that Al Scotch Tapes is getting mega rich off of. (JK).
Comes with an insert fold out of a letter Mark and I got from our land lord a few months ago, and our reply via the way of song by way of cassette straight to your ears. Enjoy. Will probably post this up for free download or something soon for all those that don't rush to purchase cassettes via mailorder (who does this, seriously!!!!).. But for now.. NERD ALERT ON HIGH! GO GRAB THAT SHIT! Thank you in advance for your kind purchase.


this is the music i really like and listen to..

Thursday, July 1, 2010

go diego


Thursday, June 24, 2010


Hey - The pizza face below belongs to one of the Huckleberry Friends AKA H.B.F AKA the first band I recorded for one of those lathe things AKA the band that joined Fucked Up on stage at the Opera House this year AKA the girl that sang on Fucked Up's "WALKIN ON SUNSHINE" cover AKA the band that is on their way to Nunavut to play some weird gig then go camping where theres no trees and sun 24 hours a day. Weird chicks. Good people!

They are about to release a 10" of some tracks they recorded at an abandoned warehouse in Toronto last Halloween at like 5am (they had to sneak in to do it). It's all verb'ed out but unlike all the holy grail pedal verb'ed out (they have never heard the Dum Dum Girls) modern indie pop bands this is actually REAL reverb created by a monsterous space in a huge abandoned building that would probably give me allergies. So thats pretty cool. I have a record. You should too. I'm helping spread the word!

Pre orders are being taken now. Preorder Info HERE.

Comes with download codes. Run of 300 copies.

Pre-orders are $10 each: write CHUCK.SKULLZ@GMAIL.COM with "HUCKLEBERRY FRIENDS 10" in the subject line.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

pizza face pre ordder

update: SOLD OUT in 45 Minutes! THANKS DUDES!
stay tuned this summer for an official 'pizza face' 7" release w/ b side on scotch tapes

Hey - So here's another LATHE track that no one will be able to get a hold of because it's limited to 66. Don't worry, eventually all this stuff with be on a 12" compilation and be available to non-nerds but for now I cater to the dweebs and people quick enough to place an order for this kind of stuff.
I'm not sure why I make a lot of this stuff so hard to come by, after all, I do not collect records and would never bother with this for any artist and also really would rather as many people hear the music as possible.... but I guess its just a case of wanting to do something different or interesting at the moment. I figure eventually people will hear it all somehow anyways.. but for now.. Only 66 of you. Ha.

Pizza Face is a one sided lathe 7" with a pizza image on the back of it. The song is not about pizza, or those 90's acne commericals ('people think i eat too many chocolate bars') - it'll probably sound awful on a lathe but its cool that it exists (???).

You need to email to get on his mailing list to which he gives first opportunity for stuff like this.. which includes upcoming Roommates, Guvnor Frisbee 7", and all other lathe cuts (lonely wholesome, bitters, actual water). It's worth it. Good luck. Thanks.

I'd also like to thank Amanda for letting me put a burning hot pizza on her face, and Danielle for taking the photo. I'd also like to recommend Pizza Pizza plain cheese with chili flakes baked in to the cheese, with their BBQ sauce. 416-967-1111. Say what you want about NY pizza or where ever has good slices, and all that.. I don't care, PIZZA PIZZA IS AMAZING!!!!! EVERY TIME!!!


P.S Little Steven's Underground Garage backs Marvelous Darlings! Cool! Hope we get a tune rockin' on Q 107, EH!!!!

Sunday, June 13, 2010

limited cassette tape

Hey, remember our Sonic Youth diss song? Well that whole recording session from ATP festival in the UK last year is now available on cassette (limitit) through South Paw. The story for all those that need a refresher goes like this:

Fucked Up played ATP festival last year, I think it was last year. It was one of those cold, rainy and super annoyingly cliche English days and while the rest of the band were running around pretending to be english, hanging out with music nerds, or getting really stoned in one of the many band cabins or caravans or cottages they supplied for us - Jonah and I were seeking a quick revenge on some shit talk we heard going around the festival. Basically Sandy had over heard in an interview Sonic Youth call Fucked Up "Jock Core" or "dude core" or something like that. She was definitely NOT high when she heard it, so we definitely took it REALLY seriously and decided to diss the shit out of them on a record cuz thats what rappers do and looking around at all the pointy shoe'd english nerds still wondering how to dress after hearing the first Editors record years ago and now trying to deny they liked it and clearly afraid of any confrontation, we were inspired to be just the opposite (COOL DUDES). We happened to be with our friend Ben Raynor. He's a ginger. An idiot (INSERT QUICK LINK TO YOUTUBE CLIP OF HIM MOSHING TO HATEBREED 10 YEARS AGO THAT I AM TOO LAZY TO GO LOOK FOR). A talented Vogue photographer. Drunk. English. Etc. We made him write all the lyrics and sing on the thing. I played drums. Jonah played a 30$ guitar. We all ended up singing together. It cost 30 british sterling shillings pounds, and was done in 40 minutes. The term "Cranking" as heard in the hit "Cranking To Sonic Youth" apparently means crying and masturbating at the same time.

Here are some of the lyrics

You love thurston you love kim
you love art and you are thin

crankin to sonic youth, goo in yer hand! good in yer hand!
crankin to sonic youth, yer favourite band, yer favourite band!

Something along those lines.
The rest of the tape has songs about posh people, the nerds at the concert walking around, and a slovakian grill worker at burger king on the venue grounds who thought we looked like "the clash". Really thought provoking stuff.

Anyways, HERES THE TAPE ORDER IT HERE. The beef is over (never really was a beef, just bored shitless at a festival), and Jonah has since saved Thurston Moore's ass twice by playing in his very shitty, very unrehearsed hardcore cover band down at SXSW this year (this band also featured the long haired guy from Alice In Chains, ACe Frehley with no make up, and Ryan Adam's Sister). It was actually awesome, and Jonah knowing every song (they did like 30) off the top of his head on bass only further proves what a straight up psychopath he is. Fucked Up were proud of their Jonah that day (except Mike).

In other news: I have been recording Demo's for toronto's ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS, and they are the best band in the city and its fun. And I'd like to announce a YOung GUv/Lets Wrestle Split 7" due out in the UK at some point. Yay.


can someone ask their dad or grandfather to lend them some silk pajamas and then lend them to me for a day so i can do my video for Bedtime STories already? Also if you have any leopard print sheets, I need those too. Shits gonna get weird. PLEEEEEEEASE. I can't find that stuff anywhere under 150$ and used clothing stores give me asthma!!!!!!!!!!!!! HELP!!!

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Thursday, June 3, 2010


Hey! So, heres WHATH UP!
New Marvelous Darlings 7" has just dropped on Plastic Idol (Notice thats Mario's 3rd release from one of my things.. Dude knows whath up, huh?). It's called "I'll Stand By Her". When I leaked the mp3 a couple months ago Pitchfork posted it and called it "the best punk song of all time" or something like that, and everyone thinks all this stuff sounds "westerbergian" or "westerbergesque" even though I only really started like The Replacements like last year, and I really kind of only like the Tim record and that song "Androgynous". Anyways - This record is now out, and you can pick it up HERE. The cover of the record is a dude in drag lying on his bed with a birthday cake with condom balloons on his wall and a flag that if you look closely says "Toronto". This image was found at the Toronto Reference Library.

Also tomorrow is the opening of Parts N Labour. A new Queen West venue/cool dude eatery with a lot of potential. Pretty psyched for it. The Bitters will be headlining opening night of both resturant and venue TOMORROW NIGHT (friday!). Gonna pop off. Hopefully my reservations don't fall through so I can eat slow cooked pigs face torriene or whatever it's called. Everyone is going to get really drunk, and lots of fat people are going to get really sweaty - hopefully from the show and the food! Yum.


Here's a couple local Bitters articles that came out today to pump up the town for the gig.


#1 has some audio clips at the bottom. The 2nd one I talk about writing songs for pop artists and blatently talk shit about them. I'd like to add that I really enjoy doing that cheesy stuff, and if someone else out there is looking to make me a bunch of money for writing songs for them and then have me go shit talk them in NOW, I'm totally up for it. JK!! It's all in good fun!! I just hate happy happy friendly borderline fake interviews where people are afraid to speak their mind. I however don't think I'm articulate enough to pull off what I'm trying to do and I just end up sound like a huge jerk... Oh well. Could be worse (actually this is kinda like Fucked Ups Canadian tour!! :). I don't want to talk shit on Hedley anymore cuz that dude put the guy from Len in the hospital after hitting him with a lava lamp or something at the Bovine. OUCH! Also my song only made it to the album and wasn't a single and i directly ripped it off The Eagles (ITS SICK!!!) so it only paid my rent for like a month as opposed to the rest of my life like if Fucked Up actually wrote this.

Here's a fun game: Count how many times Aerin and I say "LIKE" in the first audio clip. First person to get it wins a prize!!

Thats all for now. Another post to prove that I am a huge asshole completed! Thanks for reading, not sure why you do ;)


p.s Bee's and Donkeys are the new trendy things. Get down with them. Don't miss this train.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010


He looks cool talking with our song in the background, huh? FOOKIN MAD FERRR IT!!!! CITY !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Also: Fucked up are playing with 100$ for free this friday at the Toronto Reference Library at Yonge And Bloor. Be there.

Friday, May 21, 2010

Hey so I'm back from tour. Check out this porno I "acted" in back in the winter. It also features a couple ladies who came from one egg that was fertilized to form one single zygote and then got divided into two separate hosers. You may also know them from their debut lathe cut on scotch tapes that is now the hardest record to find of 2010.
I also recorded and sang the Ritchie Valens song you hear. Enjoy! Big ups Danielle Nemet. Ha.

THE FRILL OF THE HUNT from Danielle Nemet on Vimeo.

Also.. BITTERS VIDEO if you havent seen it yet.. It's been posted all over the internet for like a week now. I'm late on this, i know.

The Bitters - Travelin' Girl from Mexican Summer on Vimeo.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010


Well, we are in Victoria BC (first time). Just ate a lot of oysters. Happy to be back in Canada where I can say "EH" as much as I want without getting looked at sideways by lames who think South Park is a good show. Tour sucks, but I did buy a really funny book!

(copyrite mustard gas 2010 ascap/socan)



Saturday, May 8, 2010

lick dick

well i lost 50$ in vegas last night, the city of toronto towed my van while i was driving through the desert, some wanker on pitchfork gave the bitters LP a worse review than the lil wayne rock album, city lose to spurs, and I'm on tour.. (not my week) - BUT on the brightside... Check out the new super annoying animated GIF section of my blog down the left side.. By Mustard Gas with her new 9000$ camera. YAY!!!!

our boy scotty who we are staying with in oakland at the moment... his landlord is RICKY HENDERSON! ! ! AAAAAAAWESOME!!

Friday, April 30, 2010


Dear, scotch tapes and the other 14 people in the world waiting for the next Roommates releases. You're gonna have to wait another month because my computer broke! In the meantime here are the Fucked Up tour dates for the upcoming weeks. I'll have a few new Guvnor records with me at the merch.

Mon-May-03 Lawrence, KS Jackpot Music Hall
Tue-May-04 Denver, CO Larimer Lounge
Wed-May-05 Albuquerque, NM Moonlight Lounge
Thu-May-06 Scottsdale, AZ Chasers
Fri-May-07 Las Vegas, NV Sunset Station Ampitheatre
Sat-May-08 Pomona, CA Glasshouse
Sun-May-09 San Francisco, CA Rickshaw Stop
Tue-May-11 Portland, OR Hawthorne Theatre
Wed-May-12 Victoria, BC Sugar Nightclub
Thu-May-13 Vancouver, BC The Biltmore
Fri-May-14 Edmonton, AB Avenue Theatre
Sat-May-15 Saskatoon, SK Amigo's
Sun-May-16 Regina, SK The Exchange
Mon-May-17 Winnepeg, MB West End Cultural Center
Tue-May-18 Thunder Bay, ON Office
Wed-May-19 Sudbury, ON Millard's Garage
Thurs-May 20- MY 12th BIRTHDAY!

Sunday, April 25, 2010

east general cassette

Oh hey. So first this record came out via mp3 a month ago, now it is out on cassette. You would think we would have somehow timed everything to come out at the same time (vinyl is available MAY 5th! on Mexican Summer), but things just didn't work out like that. Who cares! Here is the tape version limited to 250. Printed as professionally and as 90's looking as possible, as this is basically so I could have a copy that looks like the tapes I used to buy at Music World at a mall in Scarborough I used to go to when I was 12. For all you audio nerds out there I think this version of the record probably sounds THE BEST. Say what you want about it, but this is not a lo fi record. At times, this is a bigger and thicker (and muddier) recording than any 500$ a day studio would dare pull off, ya heard me? And it was all FREE!

Release The Bats has released this, and you have to order it from Sweden because that's where they are from. I went there once (or twice?), it looked like Canada and everyone was a really attractive zombie.
Don't worry though, I'm sure Ikea will carry it soon worldwide. Let's hope they combo it with a Daim Bar, or some of those marvelous meatball plates. Speaking of Ikea, my bed mattress was purchased there. The model is called FloorVag. no shit eh. Wowzers.

How much does it cost?
This much:



Sunday, April 18, 2010

week in the life

Well, another weeks gone by! Man Oh Man!
This time I found myself in Kensington Market in Toronto! Aka The Venice Beach of Toronto!
I caught a live showing of hippies who'd been exiled from Vancouver. It was nauseating as all hell!

Amanda got so scared of the hippies, I had to phone two hard ass male friends of mine to protect her from the hippies.
Oscar was so enraged at the sounds that he dislocated his jaw while eating one of them.
Then Trash Talk came and beat the shit out of everybody else.
Then we all went and cooled the fuck off. After chillin for a bit, I found this map made for me by Mike "7th heaven" Haliechuk. It was supposed to be a guide for all the things I should be doing with my life in the Year of the Tiger.

But instead all it lead me to was a deer, so I killed it.

Then I ate it, it was gross. Also the wine gave me Asthma.

Then I left this for Mark cuz we should do the next Roommates tape. But instead of recording he flooded the kitchen so I'll take that as a "not right now". Sorry nerds.

So instead I recorded Tropics for a lathe 7" and a single, and then I went to their show and watched them destroy an entire basement and get hit in the head with bibles. I also stood behind Simone the whole time she was drumming and smoked 19 bowls and got hit in the dick with her sticks a couple times.

Then I went to sleep and dreamed I was sleeping with my cat, but woke up and it was Dylan from the Bitters. Gross.

My cat appeared though after a while, and had found a piece of string and he had put it around his ear like a hat! What a WEIRDO!!