Thursday, November 11, 2010

ill take the draw


"DIRTY, DIRTY, LEEDS"

Leeds is a magical magical village in England where the only person above the age of 30 is a bald man named Jace who plays in a skinhead oi (people still do this?) band called (fuck, I honestly cant remember) and they dress up as cricket players and play Jonah's guitar he paid half of for. The rest of the population are students having sex with each other and ordering Pizza and yelling. Some are goth's that go to a goth club in a church off the main strip. There is a top notch curry in the Park in Leeds, but the owner supports United so I'm pretty sure I'm eating curried dogshit from the aforementioned Park. Tastes bomb though. Jonah always gets the 900 chili vindaloo and destroys his innards. The one time the curry in the Park was closed Andy, Damian and I strayed off our curry on the reg and got some bastardized version down the road. 30 mins later I was barfing in a forest. Theres a quote here that's escaping me from our driver at the time about me feeling great after puking in a forest, but its not that funny. This is the 2nd out of about 10 times I've been sick in England on tour. I remained food poisoned all night at Andys house in London feverishly dreaming about his toilet bowl and cat crawling down my throat like that Tales From the Crypt episode. He cooked us English breakfast the next morning and I must say really made me feel great. Leeds sucks, and I sleep in the van every time because Jace's cat won't die. I'm always stoned by the time we are off to bed, so an hour before I sleep I'm sitting up in the van paranoid (but not as paranoid as Damian smoking anywhere with a police force AKA EVERYWHERE) waiting for the van to be burglarized and our gear ripped off. In the back of mind I know I will just sit there and let it happen so the show the next day gets canceled, or at least we can borrow gear and make it interesting and sound bad but cool.
Here's to another cold van sleep, terrible breakfast sub's, and Jonah farting fire and burning Leeds to the ground. See ya there!

This show will be a good one because it is the last day of tour, we will be in good moods, we will probably get free stuff, we fly home the next day.. and despite my above piss take on the place Leeds is always a solid gig.


p.s I know the Bitters kind of got lost in that whole fuzz pop lo fi thing, but the record that came out on Sacred Bones that I've never read anything about or seen anywhere and seems to have just been lost under the rug somewhere (makes sense because we were never a "real band") has been uploaded here, by these ladies from Toronto. Give it a whirl. The record is awesome. cheers

9 comments:

Carlos Tevez said...

Overhyped game. Glad you're happy.

Wayne Rooney said...

mmm prostitutes.

RIO FERDINAND said...

Yep I'm gay

DON REVIE said...

i am your god

Shaun Goater said...

Do you mean Geoffrey Oicot? As in pun of Geoffrey Boycott the famous cricketer?

Anonymous said...

oh snap get me doc marten shit!
i'll trade you whiskey parties when you get back.

STB

havingsomethoughts said...

That Bitters is the best yet. Is it not getting any love? Weird that P4K can shit on the full length (which was cool and weird) and then ignore this (which is cooler and less weird). Hope it all works out.

Siouxie Sioux said...

I think you should be a travel agent if you get kicked out of FU. You sold me tickets to Leeds with this post. ps. what's with the goth obsession STILL?

Anonymous said...

Guvnor Guvnor give us a wave!